Introduction

My name is Lauren, and I'm a television junkie.

Wow. That was hard to say.

I'm unemployed and job hunting in the worst economic climate of my life, so for now I spend most of my days sitting on the couch, with both my laptop and the TV running nonstop. I recently did the math and it occurred to me that I could spend 8 hours a day, or a full-time job's worth of TV watching, and still have time for 8 hours of sleep, an hour of grooming, 2 hours of cooking, and 2 hours of cleaning, and I would have 3 hours left over for incidentals. Yet none of that other stuff was even getting done. I was spending all that extra time just watching television...

And I realized something...

There's a LOT of bad stuff on TV.

You know what I mean? That's the stuff that's addicting! It's the crappy shows that are making me waste all this time! All the good shows I watch and appreciate and that's it- but the bad stuff never stops.

Lifetime really gives me a lot of material. Just today, for example, I saw 3 episodes of Wife Swap and the new episode of Drop Dead Diva.
And then there's The N- or soon to be the new Teen Nick, apparently. Last night I watched the Degrassi movie: Degrassi Goes Hollywood. That's 2 hours I'll never get back. I mean, I've been watching the train wreck that is Degrassi: The Next Generation for five years now (That can't be right, can it??) and I still couldn't anticipate the crumminess of the feature length movie. It was bad in all the same ways as the series, and more! The characters were all acting....ahem...out of character, and when Studz, Degrassi's current AWESOME band went on the road to Hollywood, they just left their drummer behind without even mentioning it. Oh but luckily, the guy driving the bus apparently is a drummer now! That's perfect! Oh and he's the best friend of the real drummer and doesn't even know the other guys that are in the band, so naturally it makes sense that he's driving them to California from Toronto in the first place, right?
It's like that scene in Beerfest when Landfill's identical twin brother shows up after Landfill's funeral and states that he's already heard about all the guys from his brother, so they won't have that awkward getting-to-know-you stage, and by the way, can they just call him "Landfill" as a tribute to his brother? Except that was intentional and hilarious. In Degrassi Goes Hollywood, it was accidental and pathetic. And hilarious. Though slightly less pathetic and hilarious than when the band was performing in a bar, and the singer, Manny, goes from being shy and just speaking the words to singing like crazy with a voice that sounds suspiciously computerized. This was made much more hilarious by a later scene where the big Hollywood director is talking about a girl who can't sing, saying they can just airbrush it to perfection, but they contrast that with Manny's beautiful voice. I guess it's lucky that she had that auto-tune implant built into her throat!

And it's lucky for me that there are so many bad show on the TV. I'll run out of space on the internet long before I run out of material.

Thanks Manny!

For the masochist among you, the-n.com has the movie available for a little while: Degrassi Goes Hollywood